Damn right it went up. You see what these fools be paying for Rickey-Lite? Rickey-Lite: half the calories, none of the Rickey. Get your head out your ass and take a look! Rickey’s right here! Right here! Rickey take your money just as quick as everyone else gettin’ paid. You pay Juan Pierre fifty million to run around L.A. like a chump? What’s up with that? So Juan Pierre got quoted by Jay-Z – Jay-Z don’t wanna mention Rickey in one of his raps. You know Jay-Z’s big old fake retirement and comeback? Jay-Z got that idea from Rickey. Hey Jay-Z! 48 is the new 20! Rickey outshines Jay-Z just by him saying the name. Saying “Rickey” is like shining one thousand spotlights on Rickey while Rickey’s wearing a diamond the size of home plate around his neck. Rickey don’t need bling-bling – Rickey is bling-bling. Rickey is his own source of bling, and everyone knows it but that clown in L.A. paying for five years of Juan Pierre making like Willie Mays Hays in that movie about the Brewers. Rickey does push-ups before he swings the bat, not after. Truth.
And what’s this stuff in Chicago about Alfonso Soriano getting paid for eight years? Back when Rickey was Rickey (which is all the time), you never gave out eight year contracts. Rickey wants to play, but Rickey also wants to stay hungry. That’s why Rickey likes the minor leagues. Rickey gets about 75 cents a day to eat. That ain’t much, but Rickey get by, because Rickey is frugal. Rickey don’t need no steak dinner like some Alfonso Soriano or Alex Rodriguez. Rickey don’t care about that fancy stuff. Give Rickey a few pieces of Bazooka bubble gum, and some grape drink, and Rickey’s good to play two. Rickey’s like the Energizer Bunny, but with skills. Alfonso Soriano’s like that Juan Samuel, but with legs like that Nicole Ritchie that’s not eating. Girl, let Rickey buy you a sandwich! Let Rickey take you to a ballgame, so Rickey can show you how Alfonso Soriano drops balls in centerfield and strikeouts like a chump. That’s what hundreds of millions of dollars gets you if you don’t get Rickey – a chump.
And Frank Thomas? Frank Thomas is almost as old as Rickey! But Rickey, he doesn’t get old – he ages. Frank Thomas, he gets old. You watch Frank Thomas hit a ball in the gaps, he’ll get to first if he’s lucky. Rickey hits a ball in the gaps, he’s sliding into third before that ball even gets on the warning track. You know Cool Papa Bell? That story about making beds when the lights are out? That’s almost as fast as Rickey is. Frank Thomas is fast like kidney stones. (And Rickey don’t want to talk about no kidney stones. Rickey gets sensitive about kidney stones, you dig?) Frank Thomas hit a home run in September, and Rickey pretty damn sure he’s still rounding second. You wanna pay thirty million for that? You give Rickey league minimum, he’ll run the bases on his hands and beat Frank Thomas by about five years. Give or take. (Rickey always takes.)
That’s why Rickey’s not playing nice anymore. It’s time for Rickey to get what’s his. Roger Clemens got his, and he’s a redneck. That El Duque, he’s old enough to be Rickey’s grandpa, and he got paid. That Julio Franco everyone likes – that should be Rickey! Rickey holds the bat the way you should, and can do a helluva lot more than just pinch hit and play first base. First base is for old men, fat dudes, and Carlos Guillen. Rickey ain’t old, he sure ain’t fat, and if Rickey was Carlos Guillen, then Carlos Guillen would be the greatest of all time. But that’s Rickey, not Carlos.
Folks don’t know it yet, but they want Rickey. And Rickey’s right here, waiting for offers. You want to know why you should sign Rickey? Let me show you a book about Rickey called the Baseball Book of All-Time Records. You see who’s on the top of all those lists? That’s right. But Rickey don’t come cheap. You had your chance back when Rickey wanted to play more than get paid. Shoe’s on another foot now. It’s on Rickey’s foot. And Rickey’s foot just slid into second base, right under your nose. You want to know how to stop Rickey? You want to know how to keep Rickey from hurting you the way Rickey does best? Two words: PAY. RICKEY.
Now, if you’ll excuse Rickey, he’s gotta get ready for some turkey and stuffing. And gravy with big ass badonkadonk lumps. You’re goddamn right. Rickey might get by on some gum, but that don’t mean he ain’t down with getting a belly full of good home cookin’. Get some for yourself! And save Rickey some sweet potatoes!
Damn, Rickey’s got too much speed in his mouth.
Rickey would be more legible if Rickey learned how to break things up into shorter paragraphs.
Rickey writes what and how Rickey writes. If people can’t read Rickey because people are too used to one-sentence paragraphs and CNN tickers, then Rickey can’t help you. Rickey recommends you stick to reading Bill Plaschke. Or Highlights. Rickey is down with Highlights.
Rickey IS DA MAN!
Rickey can say what Rickey wants cause,
Rickey can do what Rickey say’s,
Rickey can walk or run,
Steal or Homer,
Catch and Hit,
Just look at the record book,
Rickey is everywhere u look,
Lord of the thieves,
Gold Glover, Silver Slugger,
MVP, WS MVP
All-Star, Hall of Famer i just can’t name it all,
What more can u ask from a ballplayer!?
Long live Rickey Henderson!!!
Play on forever!!!
Rickey I’ve been with u since I 1st saw u in 1980,
I knew u we’re da real deal and u proved it over n over.
Rickey Rules!!!
Yo Rickey,
I forgot to ask, see I actually never thought I’d be able to ask Rickey directly, I’d be bouncin up and down if I could buy a dvd highlights of Rickey’s record breakin sb 1982 season or Rickey’s career , somethin like that. This way I Pay Rickey directly without intermediate ripping Rickey off…
Long Live Tha King!!!
funksteady1@yahoo.com
hey you know you are worth your weight in gold like a fine wine you get better in time
Rickey, Not only are you the greatest player of all times, but serious the best article writer ever. Your calling may be stand up comedy now man…i know you should still be playing in the majors, name one other boy who is still as fast as Rickey….NONE simple as that. I have been watching Rickey since back in Oakland and it was a treat to watch Rickey A. Get a lead off walk, steal second, steal third, and then steal home…and why not.. nobody could get you out, and all of a sudden it was 1-0 thanks to nobody else but Rickey. I also remember back when you played for the Mets and that stupid boy Bobby Valentine and Steve Phillips released you. They should have A. Reput Rickey Back into the game B. Renogotiate your contract for atleast 10 more years. Seriously though nobody will ever steal bases like Rickey there can only be one best evah and that’s Rickey. We have a R. Henderson fan club here, everybody says you most famous quotes. Like Rickey’s Hammies be hurtin this year, or dis proves that I am the best ever…after you stole the most bases ever, and then stole the base and held it high…You play the game like none other and the fact that you still can play that well is amazing. I am a METS fan, and I am begging you to come Coach for our team. We need the best ever to teach them young boys how to play just look at Jose Reyes, or even back in the day Melvin Mora. Everybody knows, or atleast everybody should know that them boys would never be as good as there are now if it werent for the number one player ever…Please respond Rickey, I would love to talk with you some….YOUR NUMBER ONE FAN Eric axelroderic@yahoo.com
I still have all my R.H. baseball cards , I do not have anyone else. All given to an orphanage. He is still and will be forever my favorite ball player. Keep going , Rickey, for yourself and no-one else !Good Luck.
Rickey, go play for the Nationals. They’ll take you, dawg!
Dont release, resign, reput, regive Rickey the longest contract ever. Speaking of ever doesnt Rickey have the most stolen bases EVER. Speaking of MOST doesnt Rickey have the most lead off homeruns ever. Speaking of LEADOFF doesnt Rickey have the most leadoff walks ever. You got dat right _____ BOY. I do. Rickey Rules of baseball 1. Dont wake Rickey until Rickey wakes up…simple as dat. 2. Never evah, evah question any rules that Rickey makes 3. Most likely some stupid ____ boy made up the rules of baseball, so dat means dat Rickey dont have to follow them. For example if Rickey is playing cards cause some stupid _____ boy Manager (whose name I wont mention…Bobby Valentine…) benched him for some Rookie chump, re-enter Rickey back into the game. Rickey new rule ;whenever Rickey wants to play, put Rickey in the game
SIMPLE AS DAT
Rickey needs a TV show!, A Mark Burnett reality TV show, Ricky in the minors teaching the kids all the way through his triuphant return to MLB, It would be the most entertaining show on TV! and to borrow a page from Ricky all Mr burnett needs to do is Pay Davey, and Ricky too ! of course!
PAY RICKEY
Fans buy, Rickey Hendersons’ Off Base Confessions of a thief, An Autobiography with John Shea, Harper Collins Publishers, $20.00, Copyright 1992, He dedicated this book in memory of his Grandmother, This book has rarely seen Photos of ( The Mans’ ) Life. When ever I move to a new place I always Place my 1987 Signed Baseball and 1980 Topps #482 Rookie card on top of the Television. I’ve been a fan since 1984 and now 32 years old, He inspires me today, I have always stuck with him as a fan through all of the teams, Bad talking from other Enemy team fans, I wrote Mr. Rickey Henderson some thank you letters when I was a kid, I took so much shit when I was a kid for Making Him my Favorite MLB player of all time,Possible Retirements, I made the dumbest baseball card trades of all time to get the Rickey Henderson cards I needed. When Kirk Gibson ( Crushed me as a kid )Hit that Famous Homerun. I Have one of Every Rickey Cards ever made from his MLB career ( I will pass down to my kid one day). I own a Pair of Signed shoes he signed for me, 2 Signed Jerseys ( 1 I bought, He signed the other ), 5 signed balls, the foul ball from 1984 that started it all, 12 signed card, 3 sined hats, A batting helmet, 6 T-Shirts, over 200 Photos from games. I never mined the money I had to pay to have him sign all my stuff through the years. When I left California in 1988, I stuck with him. I was so excited to here when He signed with the Seattle Mariners, I told my work to arange all my days off to see each game . I had enough money to buy a Amazing single season ticket ( behind Home-plate ) 8 rows up. I wore the old school Henderson Jerseys (Yankees & Athletics ) and had alot of verbal anti-henderson conversations. I’m so happy too see this blog, I hope you see this Rickey, You inspire ( inspired ) me my whole life. Thank you very much for the best times of my life. I will always pray for you, Best of heath to you and all of your family. Your the best !. P.S. ( Can’t wait to see you inducted into the Hall of Fame in 2009 )
Sign the petition at http://www.LetRickeyPlay.com to let Major League Baseball teams know that we want to see Rickey ONE MORE TIME !
I watched Rickey play with the Yankees when I was a kid. Some of my fondest memories of baseball include Rickey, Don Mattingly & Dave Winfield. He is one of the best baseball players who ever played the game period. Who cares about the rest? He played the game hard and for the love of playing the game. He had grit and heart not too mention a first tier Hall Of Fame career. Looking forward to hearing his induction speech in 2009.
All your stolen base are belong to us.
+1 Rickey being Rickey.
HEY RICKEY,WAS WONDERING HOW I COULD GET YOU TO SIGN A PORTRAIT OF YOU THAT WAS PAINTED BACK IN THE 80’S OF YOU.MODESTO,CA