Don’t let the tricky title fool you. Yes, it’s another edition of DUCK SNORTS! I’m ready if you are. Let’s do this thing, people!

CUBS HAVE HAD MORE THAN ENOUGH PIE: The Chicago Cubs, finding themselves locked into a struggle for first place in the NL Central with the St. Louis Cardinals (who are totally for real, by the way), can’t afford to play anyone that’s not contributing. This is why I’m glad they finally ended the Felix Pie experiment. Pie, a formerly highly-touted prospect in the Cubs’ organization, has been given plenty of opportunities to stake his claim on the center-field job that lots of so-called experts expected to be his. But so far, in over 110 major league games, he’s proven only that he’s not ready, forcing the Cubs to look elsewhere for answers. It looks like they’ve finally found their answer in former Padre great Jim Edmonds. His clutch hitting and spectacular defense means that Pie can spend more time in Triple A working on his game, though if he hasn’t hit yet, I’m not sure he ever will. It’s sad to see someone’s career end at the age of 23, but it looks like Felix Pie is, pardon the expression, burnt toast.

While I’m here, I’d like to offer kudos to the Padres organization for a classy move. With their team mired in last place in baseball’s most competitive division, the season’s all but lost. Giving a veteran like Edmonds a chance to play for a contender, instead of forcing him to put up meaningless numbers for a lame-duck team, shows that the Padres’ heart and mind are in the right place. That they simply let Edmonds go, instead of prolonging the process by trying to bilk a team of prospects, makes the team even classier in my eye. Here’s hoping for better times ahead for those long-suffering lowly Padres.

A STEINBRENNER SHOUTING? GUESS THAT MEANS THE YANKEES ARE BACK: If you’re a Steinbrenner, you want what you want when you want it. If you’re a Steinbrenner, you’re not going to settle for second best. When George Steinbrenner was in the public eye, he let folks know this on a regular basis whenever his New York Yankees didn’t play well. Now that George has retired, I’m glad his son Hank has taken over in his stead. Following in his father’s storied footsteps, Hank ripped into the Yankees for their disappointing effort to date this year. Not only did he make the right move — they responded to his pointed comments with a gutty 2-1 victory last night — but he’s also right about the team’s underwhelming performance. Even with their best two hitters out with injuries, and their two young prospect pitchers struggling, and two veteran starters scuffling, and a handful of slumps from regular players, the Yankees shouldn’t be under .500 and closer to last place than the top of the division they usually win.

A franchise as storied and well-known as the Yankees should never have to suffer the sort of disgraces this team has dealt with this year. It not only reflects poorly on the handful of millionaires the team employs. It also reflects poorly on the team’s ownership, all the fans of Yankeeville, USA (my own name — please don’t steal it without permission!), and the storied history of the franchise. It takes a special type of man to stand up and say that enough is enough, and to voice his displeasure for all the world to hear. Based on what he’s said so far since taking over for his father, Hank Steinbrenner is that type of man. And I think this is good for baseball.

ROOTING FOR TORONTO’S NOT FOR THE BIRDS: A lot of people are making a big deal about the Tampa Bay Rays and their first-place standing in the AL East. My position on this is that people shouldn’t believe that a team as historically bad as the Rays can suddenly start playing well. If I was a betting man this year, I’d put my money on the Toronto Blue Jays as the team to beat this year. This is because of the man in charge of the personnel moves, a person I also singled out for praise in my last DUCK SNORT column, General Manager J.P. Ricciardi.

He might be taking a lot of heat for the Jays’ struggles, but Ricciardi, a former disciple of Moneyball kinping Billy Beane, has finally climbed out from under the shadow of his mentor and become one of the best GMs in baseball. He’s a man that understands two important things about General Managing: you can’t be afraid to make moves, and you can never have too much of a good thing. This offseason is a perfect example. When third basemen Troy Glaus turned out to be a steroid-using injury-prone strikeout machine, Ricciardi flipped him to the Cardinals for Scott Rolen, a respected veteran with a reputation as a great clubhouse guy. After the A’s mistakenly cut bait on speedster Shannon Stewart, JP invited him into camp, and Stewart became the team’s starting left fielder over light-hitting Reed Johnson. And then there’s his masterpiece move this winter — after inking slick-fielding shortstop John McDonald to a new contract, he went out and acquired World Series dynamo David Eckstein. Unfortunately, both of these gritty stars are currently out with injuries, but the decision to keep two excellent shortstops on the roster is a good one.

The same goes for his most recent acquisitions: outfielders Brad Wilkerson and Kevin Mench. Both players, unceremoniously discarded by their former teams, are sluggers that can help jumpstart any offense. Signing only one of them would be enough to make Ricciardi GM-Of-The-Year material, if only to replace the woeful lack of production they were getting from another former prospect, Toronto farmhand Adam Lind. Getting both these players for pennies on the dollar, however, makes me wonder what other teams were thinking when these guys showed up on the waiver wire. Adding them to a roster that’s loaded to bear — thanks to shrewd contract extensions awarded to boppers Vernon Wells and Alex Rios — gives the team unenviable outfield and bench depth. JP manages to combine the out-of-the-box thinking that made his stat-centric Moneyball cronies so desirable once upon a time with an understanding of what actually works in baseball. It’s only a matter of time before everything finally breaks his way and Ricciardi can give our foreign neighbors up north the World Series championship they want so badly.

INTERLEAGUE MEANS THE SEASON CAN FINALLY START FOR REAL: In conclusion, I’d just like to share my thoughts on the upcoming slate of interleague games. Before interleague became a regular part of the baseball season, I would always find myself losing interest in baseball around this time of the year. When you’re always seeing the same teams play each other year after year, it gets boring pretty fast. And I’ve been a hardcore baseball fan for almost four years — I can only imagine how bored regular people get! But now that interleague play is a regular occurrence in May, I like to think that the first six weeks of the season are just extended Spring Training, and now is when the season finally begins.

With interleague, we get to see the sort of matchups that you used to only dream about. Now New York finally gets to see who’s better, the Yankees or the Mets. Now the White Sox and Cubs can finally lay claim on who owns Chicago. And where else can you find a series so packed with tension and excitement as with the Citrus Series between the Florida Marlins and Tampa Bay Rays? And then there are the unexpected pairings — the Rangers and the Giants? the Royals and the Pirates? I don’t know anyone would would ever think of having these two teams play together, which is why it’s so great. Interleague brings excitement back to baseball, something that’s sorely missing in this Steroid Era. For all those folks that say interleague play is nothing more than a gimmick that makes the unbalanced schedule a joke and limits the amount of meaningful games a team can play intra-league that have actual impact on postseason chances, I have one thing to say — you’re missing out, because it’s great!

David Michael Smithson is still waiting for the next Under Siege movie — put down the guitar, Steven, and go kick some terrorist butt!