I was totally bummed when I got traded to the Reds, dude. Totally bummed.
I mean, let’s face it: Boston is a Bronson Arroyo kind of town. Cool temperatures, hot co-eds, a real laid-back clubhouse. I could grow my hair out, maybe mix in some cornrows here and there if I wanted to let my lady get creative. Tons of places to brew up and bro down on Lansdowne Street, and you know they’ve got a killer music scene there. From Godsmack to Guster, from Aerosmith to Staind, Boston has it all.
And I don’t know, dude. Put me in the bullpen, have me sell Fenway Franks, whatever. That team’s like family. I felt at home there. Every night you could get out of the game and just go over to Lansdowne Street and hang. Me and Damon would go crack open some cold ones and talk about chicks or party on the bus with Alter Bridge, and it was always totally chill.
And then I got traded. And I won’t lie: it was like my grandmother died or something. Cincinnati? Where was I going to lay down sweet riffs after games? Bronson Arroyo doesn’t exactly go to open mics at Java Joe’s, if you catch my drift.
But then I got a phone call from my buddy Ed Kowalczyk, from the band Live. I met Ed when me, Gammons, and Theo covered “Lightning Crashes” for the Hot Stove, Cool Music benefit. It was kind of a downer choice, but I remember the crowd at the Avalon getting all quiet and sad, and I could tell they cared because it was a good song, not because we were all famous sports personalities playing it. I really respect Ed for being able to move people with his music like that, so I listened to what he had to say.
What he said was, “Bronson, dude, you know how many major league baseball teams there are in York, Pennsylvania?”
“No, Ed. How many?”
Ed said, “None, bro. None. No major league baseball teams. No excellent clubs, no groupies, just minor league soccer and a bunch of chicks with syphilis.”
“Sounds rough, dude.”
“But you know what York does have? One multi-platinum alternative rock band. A little band called Live.”
When he said it, it was like a light bulb went off in my head. Cincinnati may not have much of a baseball history, but it does have one thing going for it. A little World Series champion named Bronson Arroyo. A little Asylum Records recording artist named Bronson Arroyo.
Presumptive NL MVP Bronson Arroyo plays an acoustic set every other Thursday at the Southgate House in Newport. $5 gets you in the door; ladies drink for free until 10:00, with $2 well drinks and Miller pounders all night.
Killer words, bro. You touch us all. Hey, when’s that album of all Pearl Jam covers coming out? Love, Steamin’ Steve Clarke.
Great post. LIVE is my favorite band, and I have nothin’ but respect for Eddie K. Great to know he’s a source of inspiration even for a certain member of the Cincinnati Reds.
Are you serious? No baseball history in Cincinnati? Wow.
There may not be modern history in Cincinnati but there is history in Cincinnati that matters, back when history meant something.
You may not go 20-0 but it would all be different if the junior Griffey was healthy. Keep that in mind when you say there is no history.
No baseball history in Cincinnati? You must be kidding me. 1975,1976, and 1990 in the last 30 plus years. Bronson the next time you have some extra time and your at GABP walk next door and take a tour of the Reds Hall of Fame Museum and then ask yourself does this franchise have a history?
That being said you have pitched exceptionally well and hopefully you will add to the rich history of the Cincinnati Reds! We love seeing you pitch for the Reds!
Ed has particular insights into the world….. Luckily most of them don’t involve York (City and County). He always said that Lancaster (City and County) had just a smidge more culture and excitement…. That’s evidenced now by the fact that Lancaster has a brand new Top Notch Baseball Stadium, and a new Independent Atlantic League Minor League Baseball team called the Barnstormers, Managed by Native Lancastrian Tommy Herr…….. Imagine ending up here someday………… it’s a good night out, and players get to play…so it’s not all bad, but if you did end up here you’d be playing every other thursday night at the Chameleon Club… And Ed Knows all about the Chameleon Club, cause that’s where LIVE started out……..
Rock on!
wetter
Bronson, dude, just don’t mess around with any of those former Afghan Whigs. They’re trouble, especially that Dulli bloke. Same goes for the Ass Ponys.
I think it is a gigantic stretch to say the town that; founded professional baseball, won the Black Sox world series, another in 1941, then had Big Klu , Frank Robinson and Wally Post play for them ,then in the 1970s had the (2 time World Series Champion) Big Red Machine with baseball’s all time hits leader Pete rose, the best catcher and the best second baseman playing together with another HOFer Tony Perez, then that same franchise goes on to win the biggest upset in World Series History in 1990, has no baseball history. Mr Arroyo is very foolish and short sighted. He is part of the ‘ME’ idealism that has distanced today’s pro athletes from the fans. I don’t find it suprising that he would rather be a bull pen arm that a player that would like to help a team win and rebuild itself.He is it appears, little more than a misinformed loser of a person.
Just because Cincinnati doesn’t have this curse (excuse for not winning) doesn’t mean we don’t have a history. Worry more about your pitching than your music career.
Why doesn’t everybody get off Bronson’s tip? Its all relative and coming from Boston Cincinnati isnt really all that special.
Keep crushing beers, fanning hitters, and jacking homeruns.
GO YANKEES
This doesn’t even sound like bronson….do you seriously refer to yourself in the first person? And the “hot co-eds” line is a bit brave of you considering the north eastern chick photos!
YANKEES SUCK
It’s a spoof, melanie!
hi
Come on Cincinnati….he plays professional baseball, he sings and he is DAMN good looking! I”m sure the WOMEN probably agree!!!!!!!!