Yard Work’s glorious 2008 Season Preview is just about half-way done! And just in time for the end of Spring Training, too! Today’s installment comes from one of this site’s favorite go-to guys, and the only man in baseball history to fire both Tony LaRussa and Dave Dombrowski, Chicago White Sox broadcaster Ken “Hawk” Harrelson. Put it on the board!

Howdy, baseball fans. So another year’s coming real soon. Gonna start this week, as a matter of fact. All the way out in the mysterious Deep Orient. Now, I don’t know about you, but baseball’s an American sport. Just a fact. It ain’t baseball and a bowl of rice. It ain’t baseball and chicken curry. And it sure ain’t baseball and sushi. I don’t care how many flicks you make with Tom Selleck. It’s baseball and apple pie. And that’s America. So next time, how’s about an Opening Day in the USA, Bud? Can of corn right there, Commish. Bend your knees and scoop it up. Good guys win. Fans, too.

Now, about the Sox. Last year wasn’t so great. Don’t need to tell you that, though. Cross-eyed donkey with a harelip figured that out. Right, Jay? Could probably do your taxes better than some Ivy League bookworm, too. Well, not Marietta. Carry the one, Jay. But you don’t need no fancy stats to tell old Hawk the news. Paul and Jermaine and Jimmy Thome did their best. But sometimes it ain’t enough. Joe’s back gave out. Juan’s bat gave out. Tad gave out all over the place, and went sayonara to Philly. If you weren’t one of the top three in the rotation, you were dealing junk. And trying to get a lead to Big Bad was like trying to double down on eighteen. Last guy I saw do that ended up doing the Mashed Potato with someone’s right hook. Not recommended. I told Deej, you try that fruity-tooty stuff again when Hawk’s on a roll, gonna end up with a sole injection in your rear. That’s S-O-L-E, Deej. Talking about Filet of Dr. Scholl’s.

So what did Kenny do? He did what you’re supposed to when you got a 90-win team. Lock and load. Got himself another slugger in Swish. Great kid. Got as much pop in his bat as he’s got in his lip. Gonna be a great clubhouse guy. Kenny also got himself an infield anchor. Name of Orlando Cabrera. Guy got one pair of Sox a ring almost all by himself. Gritty guy. Loves to get dirty. His kind always do. Shortstops, I mean. Hawk loves all colors. Especially white and black. Sad to see Jonny G go, though. He’s a gamer. Real gutty pitcher. Saw him win games where he had nothing but the sweat on his brow and a burr in his saddle. Real tough. But you gotta give to get, and the Sox got real good with OC. Pair him up with a healty Joe? Best defense left side of the infield in the game. No doubt.

And Kenny helped out the pen, too. Brought in clutch guys like Dotel and Linebrink. Can’t believe no other team snapped these guys up. Good pen help is hard to find. Just ask Ozzie about last year. Every time he went to the mound, looked like he was gonna cry. Like someone pinched a loaf in his chalupa. Felt like someone pinched a stinker off in mine, too. One of those no-names from last year comes in the game, I ask Deej, who is this guy? And Deej tells me. And I’m still all confused. It was like Abbott and Costello last year, except without the funny. This year, gonna be more of a spring in Ozzie’s step. And all the laughing’s gonna be on our side of the field. Write it down. Bet on it. Bet twice. Then bet some more. Team’s gonna go places.

Before I wrap up, wanna talk about a Sox great that ain’t with the team this year. Guy by the name of Scott “Pods” Podsednik. That guy was a ballplayer. Did damage with his glove. Did damage with his feet. Did damage with his brain. He’s a thinking guy. You look at him out on the bases, he’s thinking. You can see the gears grinding away in his head as he’s trying to get into the other team’s psyche. Heady. Guy was a great teammate, and an even better buddy. Pods and I loved shooting the breeze before games, talking about this and that. Put you in my Five, Pods. Give old Hawk a call now and then. This Carlos Quentin’s got some quick and big shoes to fill. But if he’s got the moxie that Pods had in his pinky toe, then the Sox are ahead of the game. Nothing new about that.

But some folks wanna talk about the Tigers and their D-Train, or the Indians and their ALCS. All I gotta say is talk about the Sox and their ring. Then grab some bench. You know how many teams in the AL Central have a ring this century? Try one. And it’s right here in the South Side of Chicago. Or the North Side. Hell, whatever side it is, it’s the Sox side. And that’s the side to be on. Ain’t too late to change. Sox could always use some good fans. Hawk predicts 100 wins, three guys with 40 homers, two 20 game winners, Big Bad going for 60 saves, a lot of hustle, a lot of grit, and some great times for the good guys. Tell me I’m wrong.

Go Sox.