| Rk |
Hottie |
Comment |
1
|
David Wright |
There is no other. Thick thighs, round ass, a hint of a paunch and a smile that could talk us into anything. Just try, Davey, we dare you! |
2
|
Grady Sizemore |
A face soft like velour and cheekbones high like another double yanked to the gap. That 6.4 WARP keeps the boys warm at night — please God let him sleep in that cockeyed cap. |
3
|
Ozzie Guillen |
You say “small ball.” We say there’s only one way to find out. |
4
|
Carlos Delgado |
A sweet swing, and a sweeter smile, a lefty we wouldn’t mind making our fellow traveler. When he expressed his dissent by sitting down, we offered our laps. Injury-prone, sure, but somebody needs to kiss those booboos. |
5
|
Walter Young |
Sometimes a girl needs to feel small, and what better way than a no-power sea lion who outweighs the Ravens offensive line? Hit or miss, so long as you drawl for us you gotta home, Wall-y. |
6
|
Roy Halladay |
Toronto’s 6’6″ Trojan warrior is a scruffy competitor on the rubber, but elsewhere he’s a snuggable adonis who makes our hearts go pitter-patter and always calls back. |
7
|
Mark Ellis |
We’re hoping to get a lot further than second base with Oakland’s baby-faced infielder. If he gets tired from carrying the A’s in the second half with his .592 SLG, we’ll be there with the scented oils to rub down his sore shoulders. |
8
|
Manny Ramirez |
Who doesn’t love a big, tall drink of fuzzy oops? Manny being Manny is tripping over sod with a water bottle oh-so-close to those pert fast-twitch fibers, and then driving a pitch one-handed onto Newbury Street. And then taking his sweet time to circle the bases. He says this year’s an off year, but he’s always on. |
9
|
Brian Cashman |
We can’t be the only ones to have heard the whispers about Cash’s S&M dungeon ‘neath the visitor’s clubhouse, can we? |
10
|
Royce Clayton |
We’ve all had our trustafarian dalliances (Hi Blake, Dakota, Jeremy and AJ!), but not many of us have been the Predator’s prey. Dude hits like Ah-nold acts, but here’s hoping his career has been extended by other talents… |
Uhhhh……
Who’s got my diary???