Hey, cats and kittens, it’s me, your friendly neighborhood MPG! Hey, let me be the first to congratulate the Chicago White Sox on their great World Series victory. I’ve spent some prime time in the Chi, and let me tell you, those are the greatest fans in the world. (Along with the most buxom middle-aged “Saved By the Bell” groupie MILFs, if you catch my drift.) So yeah, Go Sox! And sorry, Astros, but there’s always next year, unless you have a problem re-signing your ailing tubby HOF pitcher and Lidge pulls a Ricky Williams and Pettitte goes to go convert the heathens in Sri Lanka and Berkman gains about 75 more pounds. Because then, yeah, then there won’t be a next year.
Anyway: exciting announcement time. You know we’ve been diversifying like nobody’s business over here at Yard Work. The YW Chew is now America’s #7 premium chewing tobacco; our line of YW sliding pants and batting gloves is available at many Sam’s Club stores nationwide; even our training videos featuring baseball great Alvaro Espinoza are blowing up all over the Internet. (And just you wait until the new video, “Ana Maria Callejeo Guillen’s Sensual Baseball”! Sproing!)
But we have an even more important announcement. Baseball is dead for the year…but it’s not the only sport in town. Next week, the NBA season starts — and today, after literally days of hard work, we welcome HARD WOOD to the YW family of fine websites.
Hard Wood is going to be run pretty much along the same lines as Yard Work, with one one important difference: it’s about basketball. (Duh, silly!) You can expect just as much hardhitting analysis, fun crazy feature writing, and inside reporting as you get on this site…and more! (ED: Definition of “more” to be determined by our legal staff.)
The first post on this new website is already up. We have an exclusive: The Sports Guy himself, Billy Simmons, ruminating on the new NBA season in his famous preview. The Eastern Conference is live right now, and the Western Conference preview will be up later on today. (ED: Maybe.) Man, I sure hope the Sports Guy mentions “Saved by the Bell”! That rocks, when he does that. Maybe he’ll bag on Slater or call Arvydas Macijauskas “Screech” or say that Kareem Rush will nail threes quicker than I nailed Tori Spelling when she had a recurring role as the hottest nerd at Bayside.
Anyway: play on, playaz! Hit the new site as often as you like, we don’t mind. WE LOVE THIS GAME!
I really don’t have anything to say about Chewing Tobacco, but I must say that we miss MPG, and you should be out there being awesome..I know you could easily get on any NBC, or ABC , or FOX sitcom..even as a voice actor..
come on!!
You should write more, you have not written anything in about a year. How are you going to be the “host” of this mess if you don’t write?
I know you can’t comment on the following statement, but I just read about it. It’s rumored that Dustin Diamond has a sex video out there. If anyone has seen it, let me know. It was written he was with two women. I want to see Dusty get down and back up from this if you know what I mean, lol.