Hello basketball world! I am Siegfried, one half of the amazing world-famous Siegfried & Roy duo, here with an letter opener to the Kings of Sacramento, Mr. Maloof Brothers, on behalf of the greatest city in the world of Nevada, Las Vegas! In case you are wondering, in the picture above, I am on the right of Roy, who is to the left of a very large fan of our magic! I heard he is a captain, also! I support trooping overseas!
Mr. Maloof Brothers, if you decide your current ungrateful home is yours to be worth leaving, the city of Las Vegas will welcome you with open arms and high leg kicks and wonderful gushing fountains whose spurting is timed to Debussy! My companion Roy and I are very lucky to have been a part of this city’s greatness between 1990 and 2003! Those thirteen years have been the greatest of my life, and I am sure Roy would agree with that if he was able to move his left arm! Maloof (if I may be forwarding so!), the Las Vegas area is ready for the Kings of professional sports to become a part of the great Las Vegas landscape like the glowing neon cowboy and the Air Force base with the flying saucers and autopsies hosted by Star Trek’s #1!
I imagine some of you are wondering how much of a basketball fan I am, really! Well, let me tell you that I am a huge fan! When I first came to Vegas, I fell in love with the UNLV Running Rebels of Tarkanian the Shark! I much enjoyed watching Tarkanian eat towels while players like Anderson Hunter and Tracy Augmon took it deep! It is a shame those hottub pictures came out! Sex scandals are so hard to come over! Just ask my close friend and animal lover, Pop King Michael Jackson! (No doubt the rumors about me and my beloved tigers are still running out there! Let me say first and for all they are not very true!) I am also happy to count among my friend former Rebel Runner coach Rollie Massimino! He was much the fan of Wayne Newton and mine! And he was also a great fan of the professional basketball as well! He told me once he made many killings on the Kings! That known, it is only fair that the Kings come here to kill as well!
Let me officially offer you, Mr. Maloof Brothers, a plan from my former friend and employer, Steve Wynn of the Mirage! He will allow your Kings to play at his wonderful resort casino! Mr. Wynn is graciously willing to transform our former White Tiger refuge into a state-of-the-art basketball complex, complete with any amenities you could want to buy! Mr. Wynn told me that because of Siegfried & Roy having cancelled their show because of Roy’s accident, he wants nothing to do with any more stupid tigers and will do anything to get rid of them and the money they cost him! And these tigers made him lots of money costs! Surely you can see to what lengths he is willing to get you!
And to Mr. David Stern of the Basketball Association of America: do not worry about the thought of gambling affecting your basketball! Gambling, like basketball, is nothing more than a harmless pasttime where people can make lots of money! Both can happen at the same time without people knowing! Everyone knows how you like to double your standards when it comes to selling people basketballs, and in Las Vegas, you can maintain these standards with much ease!
So, please, Mr. Brothers, do not turn your back on your current and possible future home! Las Vegas and basketball are like the peanut butter and jelly of sandwiches! They are great tastes that always taste great, and together they will taste even better! I am Siegfried! Thank you! Roy and I love you all!
In 2000, Siegfried Fischbacher & Roy Horn were honored as Magicians of the Century by the International Magicians Society.