VORP? More Like SCHWING! by Me, Rob Neyer

Okay, okay, I know it’s all over the Internet that my Unified Theory of Baseball doesn’t work — stupid Nook Logan and his 6th-inning scratch singles! — but that’s okay. I’ve had some dark nights of the soul in the last week; luckily, since I’m so damned genial, it was only two nights, and the […]

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Yankees, Fuhgeddaboudit!

An Open Letter to Major League Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig From: Marty Markowitz, President, The Borough of Brooklyn, New York Dear Mr. Selig: As I’m sure you know, bein as you are de, uh, high poobah of baseball, it’s tough to be a baseball fan in New York City deez days. Da Yankees, once the […]

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Funnyball

The day was April 16th. The Devil Rays were off to another lackluster start, and had just endured a humiliating defeat at the hands of the Red Sox – David Wells pitched a complete game shutout, while D-Ray starter Hideo Nomo didn’t last more than two innings, allowing eight earned runs in the 10-0 throttling. […]

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Two Teams Out?

These are sleepless nights in Tampa, Florida, and not just in Lou Piniella’s bedroom. If the playoffs started today, Yankee Stadium — home of the winningest team in baseball history — would be empty. Last night, May 4, the Yankees lost their 17th game, the earliest date in team history that they have recorded their […]

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Kruk Love

Krukker here. I’ve been nice on Baseball Tonight. I’ve been encouraging, even when someone says something “vacuous.” But it’s time for some “Kruk Love,” Major League Baseball. I hate to be the one to say this, and I don’t wanna criticize ya’ll because, really, you’re all great, but most of you players today wouldn’t know […]

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Public Service Announcement

Good afternoon fans, I’m Reggie Jackson, one of baseball’s all-time greatest home run hitters, but you probably know me better as Mr. October. I’d like to thank the editors of the BBTN blog for inviting me to discuss a matter of utmost importance that is facing the game of baseball. This is about more than […]

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My Side of the Story

Listen, it wasn’t my fault. I might be in the minor leagues now, but somehow security still lets major-league assholes into the games, and that’s not my responsibility. Playing for the Long Island Ducks is one of the proudest moments of my life — right up there with saving that Negro baby from falling into […]

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Mike Piazza’s Political Soapbox

Hey, I’m Mike Piazza, All-Star catcher for the New York Mets. And I’d like to talk to you about the filibuster. Before I met my old lady, I was out hunting for poontang with Ted Nugent, and the Nuge turned around and asked me, “P, why do gun-grabbing nutjob liberals find it necessary to prevent […]

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Buy The Book: Vacuous

Every once in a while, someone on the BBTN set uses a big polysyllabic word that the Kruk can’t wrap his meaty head around. That’s when we go … BUY THE BOOK! Here’s today’s word! vac·u·ous (vÄ

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The Art of the Ejection

Yeah that’s right, you goddamn bastards: Sweet Lou here to talk about the art of the ejection. I was approached by the fellas over at Baseball Tonight to touch on one of my favorite subjects and you bet your goddamn ass I jumped on it. Some interesting facts for you sons of a bitches: I […]

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