I’ll be the first to admit it: it’s been a tough year in Cincinnati. We’ve lost some we could have won, and we haven’t won as many as we could. And there have been chemistry problems, too. (Remember that whole chair thing? I would have forgotten, too, if Ken and Adam would shut up about it. KIDDING!) But I’m happy to report that we’re coming together as a team of late, and that we’re primed to make up those 21 games on the Cardinals and bring the pennant back to Cincy. Oh yeah!

This week, for example, everyone’s been making their plans for the All Star break. Now I don’t have the luxury that these other guys do, because I am participating in the festivities. Felipe Lopez — who is every inch an all-star, let me tell you — and I keep talking about what we’re going to do in Detroit. He wants to see Eight Mile Road and visit a Ford plant, and I’m pumped to finally (FINALLY!) ride the Detroit Princess Riverboat. It’s good that Felipe and I are finally getting to be tight. (The language barrier is a problem, but we are getting past it. For instance, he likes to call me “puta” because I’m practically married to my laptop! LOL! Phil, as I like to call him, is one loco hombre.)

But even though it’s a dream come true to participate in such a historic event, it’s driving a wedge between me and the other guys. Like just yesterday, I asked Adam what he was doing over the break. He said he was going fishing, and I said that it was too bad I was going to the All Star game and he wasn’t because I like fishing. He didn’t even respond!

Same thing with Griff. Our conversation, exactly:

“Hey Kenny G!”
LONG STARE
“So, you kickin’ it with your ‘homies’ during the All Star break?”
“What the [BAD WORD] is it to you?”
“Oh, I was just thinking we could hang out.”
“Nah, man.”
“Whoops! I just forgot that I’m part of the All Star festivities, so we can’t hang out! I feel so red-faced!”
“[BAD NAME] you’re pitching for the [BAD WORD] Home Run Derby. You proud of that [BAD WORD]?!?!?”

And then Griff starting laughing and walked away from me. But the more I think about it, it was respect that made him walk away. When you’re on the downside of your career, it’s tough seeing guys on their way up. But I’m going to do Griff and all the Reds proud, just you watch. I’m going to give up more home runs than anyone. An All Star. Can you believe that?

Eric Milton is in the first year of a three-year deal with the Reds. So far this season, he has served up 28 juicy tacos to MLB hitters.