Some people say the Yankees are never going to be the dynasty they once were. I say that’s bull.

Let’s look at the facts – the Yankees have the biggest payroll in the major leagues. $208 million is serious money. The Yankees’ ownership is committed to winning in ways that other teams just aren’t – not even the Red Sox. Through years and years of success, George Steinbrenner and the boys in Tampa have figured something out about major league baseball that nobody else has:

Throwing money at a problem is the only way to fix it.

Look at Fenway Park! It stinks to high heaven, it’s falling apart, and everybody gripes about the sight lines and clubhouse facilities. If the Red Sox cared about their fans, they’d tear it down and build a better new stadium right in its place, but they complain about how much it’d cost. Waah waah waah, I say. Do you think the Yankees give a damn about what it costs to buy some vacant lot? Crybabies.

Two years ago, Aaron Boone – a true Yankee through and through – tore his ACL playing basketball before the season. The Yankees didn’t just sit on their haunches and try to fix the problem from within, the same way the Red Sox did when Curt Schilling stupidly hurt his ankle this year. They traded for the best player in the game, Alex Rodriguez – who makes almost as much as all 25 Tampa Bay Devil Rays.

I hear so many talking heads saying disgraceful things about the Yankees’ starters. “Mediocre?” “Struggling?” Please. If you think the ultimate motivational tool for hitters isn’t trying to get your horse out of a jam, you don’t know jack about baseball. When Randy Johnson goes up there and gives up three or four bombs, you’d better believe that Tony turns to Sheff and says, “Sheff, man, we gotta pick it up. Let’s do it for the Unit.”

You gotta figure that when the Yankees have a problem that needs to be fixed, it doesn’t take them long to figure out how to solve it: by getting the best available players out there to fill their holes. When the Yankees lost the ALCS, how long do you think it took Steinbrenner to break out the checkbook? They went after quality personnel wherever they deemed it necessary: Randy Johnson, Jaret Wright, and Carl Pavano, all true Yankees. They’ve done it for years – remember Doyle Alexander? (I know you don’t, Boston bandwagon-jumpers, but I’m a Yanks fan for life.) The Red Sox want us to believe that some kid I’ve never heard of – Joe Applebaum or somebody – is going to make the leap right into their starting rotation last year. Who still does that?

This Applebaum kid is 25, and pitching in AA. He’s practically ancient. Cobwebby. Knock-kneed. Shot. His teammates are so young they’re asking him for advice on picking up chicks and what to do when their pubes roll in. Do the Red Sox honestly think this kid is going to be a difference-maker next year?

The fact is that when you need a hired gun, you gotta go with veteran leadership. Minor league starting pitchers are in the minor leagues for a reason, after all, and it isn’t because they’ve got a killer instinct and a hose like my buddy Denis Leary’s on his hit series “Rescue Me,” Tuesdays on FX at 10/9 Central. If you think the Red Sox are gonna win the World Series with that kind of attitude, have I got a movie deal for you: “Fever Pitch 2,” starring A. Whitney Brown and Jan Hooks.

It. Ain’t. Gonna. Happen.

Jay Mohr is a critically-acclaimed stand-up comedian and the star of such hits as “Are We There Yet?” “Pay it Forward,” and “The Adventures of Pluto Nash.”