I am finding the time now to responder to all of the several emails I get every day and weeks from all of my loyal readers and viewers and fanatics…and some unloyal ones too! Jajaja!

Dear Ana Maria: Why are you only interested in Venezuelan baseball players? I know that you are from Venezuela, but aren’t you interested in players from other Latin countries or players of other backgrounds? –John C., Boston, Massachusetts.

Dear John C.: No offense, but this is a very estupid question. CLARO QUE SÍ I am interest in players from backgrounds of others. Is just I am more interest in beisbol from my own great country. I suspecting you are too, or else you would not be asking this to me. Also, since I suspecting that you are a “white” person, because your name is John C. and you are from Boston, you just want me to talk more about Jason Beritek. So we are very much alike, you and me, no?

To be serious now; Venezuela is very much a place of three prides as I have said before. One is our beisbol players, as you know. One other is our beauty queens, of which I was fortunate to be one when I was Miss Venezuela and then Miss World. And the third is the fact that we are not the any other Latin nations! Jajaja, okay so that was not so much serious. But it is kind of truth.

I cover all beisbol players evenly. If I talk about my country people more, well, it is just that my homeboys happen to be the best players in the leagues right now, with a few exceptions on both sides. If it make you feel better, John C., I say “Jason Beritek is a pretty good catcher.” Okay?

Ana! Love yr music! What do you think about how bad Vinny Castilla & Christian Guzman have been for the Nationals!?!?!? –Esix S., New York City, New York.

Esix, thank you! I am glad that my music has touch you in a especial place. Recently, I have given release a new Cd of my best exitos, “¡Yendo Toda la Manera, Lentamente, Apasionado, Con el Ana Maria!” It is at amazon.com I think. As for your questions about Vinny Castilla y Cristian Guzman — well, they are tough. (Your questions, that is, not Castilla y Guzman.) Vinny is what we in our country call “an old shoe,” something you have around because it is comfortable and sometimes usefull but you don’t think about much anymore because you have new better shoes and they are more of fashion and also do not hurt your feet…or your lineup. And in addition we also have a name for players like Cristian Guzman too. That word is “esucks.” So those are my thoughts and you are very welcome to them.

Dear Ana Maria: You seem like a well-educated and talented young lady. Not too many people could say they were a pop star, television personality, beauty pageant winner, and emergency medical technician, as well as your country’s top baseball journalist. Yet your articles still end up reading like a stereotype of Latin Americans. How is it that you don’t speak or write better English? –Scott H., Western, Oregon.

Dear Scott H: I see your point and raise you one. How is your español? Not so hot, I bet. So there, that is one. Another is: I have never had time to study English. I pick up what I speak and write from my many modeling trips and pop concerts I have have in the EEUU in my life. For this, I think I am pretty good. I also sometimes use a computer internets program for translation, but the one I use is I think ghetto. Please do not bes mad at me for this, what is a better one? Also, for third: and again no offense, but I do not want to spend time on more English lessons because I think it is a muy ugly language compare to my beautiful Espanish, which is what I mostly use in my writing and talking and whispering at late night over the phone to lonely men stuck in Western, Oregon. Would you like me to call you tonights? Jaja!

Ana, where can I get a good arepa in this godforsaken state? –Felix H., Seattle, Washingtons.

O my. Felix, you want a good arepa, you will have to not be in Seattle. You will have to come home to Venezuela. (Of convenient, your team will be done by September!)

Here there is an arepera you will not believe. The owner, I think I know her, she makes every single one by hand, slowly rolling the corn between her nice fingers. When the cake is made, she gets the pan nice and hot. How hot? I think you know how hot. When she puts her arepa down in the pan it start to sizzle. Soon it is nice and ready, all nice and steaming and slightly brown. Then she split her arepa down the middle and help you figure out what you would like to put inside. I think you know how to fill up an arepa, Felix el Rey. Think how it will taste in your mouth. I will introduce you to this special lady — did I mention that I think I know her? — and you will never want her to stop cooking.

Okay, until next time, TTFN!

Ana Maria Collejeo Guillen is the top baseball writer for El Universal. She will soon be starring opposite Ruben Blades in the Globovision original thriller, “¡El Policía, Él No Es Yan Bueno Después de Todo, En el Hecho Absolutamente Peligroso!”