Authorities deny rumors that an activist organization is claiming responsibility for yesterday’s Los Angeles blackout, and plans more disruptive actions in upcoming weeks.
A source close to DRUDGE received a tape from an organization calling themselves Steroid Takers Undermine BaseBall’s Dignity, or STUBBD for short. On this tape, a hooded figure wearing a Chicago White Sox jersey with GUILLEN on the back and a black White Sox cap claims to speak on behalf of people responsible for the blackout that left most of Los Angeles without power for over three hours. According to authorities, the outage was the result of a utility worker error. The outages came one day after ABC aired a videotape of a purported Al-Qaida member making terrorist threats against Los Angeles and Melbourne, Australia.
On this STUBBD tape, the hooded figure – standing in front of a Kansas City Royals backdrop – claims that the outage was in fact an attack designed to keep the San Francisco Giants from taking the field Monday evening. Giants slugger Barry Bonds, a rumored abuser of performance-enhancing drugs, was set to return from the disabled list on Monday for his first game of the year. Bonds was disabled for most of the baseball season due to multiple complications stemming from knee surgery.
According to a DRUDGE source, the figure on the tape says that this “attack” will be the first of many, with the intent being to “terrorize and hold hostage the great game of baseball, just like these so-called professional athletes have done.” No other details were given for these possible future actions. Also, no explanation was given for why STUBBD cut power in an area 400 miles away from their desired area of effect – the Giants played host to the San Diego Padres Monday night at San Francisco’s Pac Bell Park.
A trusted DRUDGE source noted other inconsistencies in the tape. For instance, the speaker refers to former baseball superstar turned gossip superstar “Jose ‘Cabron’ Canseco” as if Canseco is still an active player. There are multiple references to “that acne-covered slaphead” Jeremy Giambi, a player that hasn’t been in the major leagues since 2003. Also, the hooded figure – in a thick accent that could be of South American or Middle Eastern origin – makes disparaging comments about the Chicago Cubs for letting Sammy Sosa, “a potato-headed finger-kissing homosexual” remain with the team. Sosa was traded to Baltimore before the start of the 2005 season.
There is also a 10-minute tirade involving current Detroit Tiger Magglio Ordonez, wherein the speaker alternates between shouting expletives directed at Ordonez’s family, lineage, and sexual preferences, and minute-long fits of giggling and coughing. Most of the tape, however, concerns the “pendejo” Cleveland Indians, a “group of no-talent glue-sniffing puto bitches that only win games by hitting lots of corked-bat home runs, instead of winning them with heart and guts and good old fashioned baseball.”
A representative from the Department of Homeland Security told DRUDGE that this STUBBD organization will be brought to justice as soon as the season is over and “the Pale Hose bring home what’s rightfully theirs”. “Pale Hose” is a term fans use to refer to the Chicago White Sox. Currently, the White Sox are leading the American League Central division by 5 games over the Cleveland Indians. They begin a three-game series against the last-place Royals tonight.
Developing…
Matt Drudge has been called a “threat to democracy” and “an idiot with a modem”.