Greetings, fellow liberty seekers. As you know, this year the baseball team of our nation’s capital finally gets its own stadium. The Washington Nationals will no longer be subservient to the whims of big government and the corporate greed of Major League Baseball. In 2008, as a prime signifier of the coming rise of the […]
Continue reading →Detroit’s poor opening week seems to have strongly influenced Iggy Pop’s prognosis for the season that lies ahead. Read on for his full analysis of the team. I’m cranky and I’m tired, and the Tigers are stinking up the joint at 0-6, ain’t got no fix ’cause Brandon Inge is a rich bitch. They’re uninspired, […]
Continue reading →Again, I bid top dollar to you with my greetings! Yes, once and always, it has been a long series of moons since I shined my peculiar light on subjects for this varied website. Let me not recount how much less than zero my lump of a baseball playing career has summed into, and instead […]
Continue reading →We break format in our Hugo- and Nebula-Award-winning 2008 Season Preview to reprint a recent speech from Democratic presidential candidate Senator Barack Obama, which seemed to be a pretty good Pittsburgh Pirates preview to us. We here present this speech excerpt, delivered last Thursday in Erie, Pennsylvania, with special permission from the Obama campaign. Thanks, […]
Continue reading →Opening Day’s come and gone, but Yard Work’s 2008 Season Preview keeps limping along! Today we hear from another presidential nominee, Senator Hilary Rodham Clinton, as she holds court on her hometown team, the New York Yankees. Just as it has been my honor to serve as a Senator to the greatest state in these […]
Continue reading →Since the sports world can’t seem to get enough about how stupid all these dumb-ss coaching regulations are, allow me to do what these so-called journalists can’t seem to do and tell it to you straight, L-Bow style. That’s right, ladies. BLEEP BLEEP is back, La-La Land style. And unlike that soft-tossing gimp Pedro, I […]
Continue reading →Hello again, Yard Work readers! Hope you’re having a great and prank-free April Fool’s Day. Now that Opening Day has finally arrived for the third time this season, it’s time for DUCK SNORTS to look at the previous day’s action and see what stories are developing across the Major League Baseball landscape. Let’s get it […]
Continue reading →A wise man once said, “It ain’t over ’til the kind-of-hot former stripper and Oscar-winning screenwriter sings.” Well, our season preview won’t be over until we hear from Hollywood’s new it-girl, Juno scribe — and Entertainment Weekly columnist — Diablo Cody. Hey there, home fries. It’s me, your girl Dizzy D, lost and found in […]
Continue reading →As we dance to the music of life, We must remember that the steps matter not; What matters is the energy, the attitude, the love — Well, these things and on-base percentage. In the year of the phoenix* Many secrets will be revealed, Many surprises will be uncovered, Kabir says, and the Marlins will suck. […]
Continue reading →Like sands through the hourglass, if the hourglass was full of water, so goes the 2008 Yard Work Season Preview. Today’s installment concerns the Philadelphia Phillies, and is penned by AM radio drive-time personality (and Emmy Award winner) Howard Eskin. Ah, Phillies baseball. Like watching retards trying to snap their fingers. Seriously, folks, if you […]
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