Why do they call it the “Hot Stove League”? The only thing that’s hot about New York in December is what’s going on between the mattress and the quilt in my bedroom! The thought of my husband playing catch with our kids while wearing a Santa outfit makes me so horny, I can hardly contain […]
Continue reading →Dan Patrick just mentioned that the Yankees offered Chien-Ming Wang and Robinson Cano for Miguel Cabrera and Dontrelle Willis. The Marlins declined the offer. Dan Patrick just mentioned that the Los Angeles Dodgers offered Scott Erickson, Hee Seop Choi, and the mechanical rights to “Unknown Korean Rap Song” for Miguel Cabrera and Dontrelle Willis. The […]
Continue reading →you say many things but i only hear a few that is because i am busy watching the l.a. clippers dominate the pacific division their luminous bodies shine in the staples center i sit up in the back like a common man that is all i’ll ever be the howling pain that is the universe […]
Continue reading →Oh, it was a mugging! Are you kidding me? For six straight years, the ACC/Big 10 Challenge, has been no challenge at all — the Atlantic Coast Conference has trashed, thrashed, smashed, and bashed the Big Ten…and now it’s seven years in a row! The ACC, clearly the best conference in the NCAA, dominated this […]
Continue reading →Ha! Wrong stripes, but close enough! Nice to see someone took the f*cking hint I oh-so-subtlely offered last time. Thanks to Mr. George Steinbrenner and a couple bottles of Disaronno, I am finally part of a class baseball organization. Oh, yeah, some of you dipsh*ts are probably itching at the d*ck to go to your […]
Continue reading →Magic versus Larry. Kobe versus Shaq. Charles Barkley versus a ten-year-old girl. No sport lends itself to heated mano-y-mano discussions like professional basketball. This is why Hard Wood is proud to present JUMP BALL, a series of posts that will let two folks tackle these controversial and spirited match-ups. For the inaugural tip, we’re pitting […]
Continue reading →Hello once again to my American Frankyboys, this is 1999 Liege-Bastogne-Liege Champion Frank Vandenbroucke writing once again to talk to you about the subject of baseball. But that is enough about me for the moment, for there is not enough space to provide further detail of my plentiful sporting accomplishments because my mind is occupied […]
Continue reading →Hello basketball world! I am Siegfried, one half of the amazing world-famous Siegfried & Roy duo, here with an letter opener to the Kings of Sacramento, Mr. Maloof Brothers, on behalf of the greatest city in the world of Nevada, Las Vegas! In case you are wondering, in the picture above, I am on the […]
Continue reading →On the street, they call them dimes. And they’re the currency of the playground. From Rucker to the Cage, when they talk about handle, they’re talking about the not-so-secret language of ballin’. Before the lights, before the Yellow Jackets, before the feuds with KG, with Van Horn, even with cousin Bassy, he was Stephon from […]
Continue reading →Congratulations are due to Commissioner Bud Selig for his courageous policy against the use of performance enhancing drugs in baseball. It took a lot of hard work and time and patience, and some help and support from the US Senate, but finally baseball has an anti-steroid policy that will protect baseball from cheaters and false […]
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