Online Host You have entered the Minnesota Twins Spring Training Chatroom ex-expo factor: spring training isn’t going too well. big game hunter: i wanna be the second coming of puckett. I need a ring, dammit! Where’s my ring? ex-expo factor: quiet. don’t let the young bucks hear you talk like that. We can’t risk weakening […]
Continue reading →CROCKETT: You want to take down the Florida Marlins, Jesus Christ, you got your work cut out for you. TUBBS: So listen, and listen good. This group is young, they’re hungry, they’re ruthless. I bet my badge that within three years, these guys are either winning 100 games, or moving upwards of 2,200 kilos of […]
Continue reading →I sat uncomfortably in the rock-hard azure seats at Atlanta-Fulton County Stadium. The sound was so loud that it stung my ears like the bees that attacked me when I was eleven years old and my father was emotionally distant and wasn’t paying attention to me or my mother or my brother Peter. But this […]
Continue reading →Hello, Yankees fans! This is – what? We’re not what?… Well then, somebody’s gotta tell me when we’re… Oh, I see. I get it now… No, whenever you’re ready. You just give the, uh… the signal. Whenever you’re… Was that it? What? Oh. Okay. Hello, Yankee fans! We hope you’re getting ready for another exciting […]
Continue reading →Dear Travis Lee Fan Club members: It is with a sad sinking feeling in my heart that I send this month’s “T-Leaf Reading” to you all. After giving all that I could give to the fine District of Columbia, I, Travis Lee, have decided to leave our nation’s capital. It seems that the Nationals have […]
Continue reading →Hello. I am proud to say that I am the mayor of America’s most beautiful metropolitan area: Seattle, Washington. We love our Mariners up here in the Emerald City, almost as much as we love our city’s rich tradition of music. (Yes, I am “down” with Seattle’s music scene; I grew up listening to the […]
Continue reading →Okay you weak-kneed lily-livered weenosauri, it’s go time. Specifically, it’s time for YOU to go — down, that is. To me. In fantasy baseball. Here’s the poop, garbage-eaters. We’re rocking a new kind of fantasy ball this year — any butt-reamin’ keanu can pick good players, but we’re after those who can select the worst […]
Continue reading →So Mr. T – he wanted me to call him Mr. T – came in at about 11:00. I didn’t really recognize him at first, but it didn’t matter. The guy announced himself when he came in, three sheets and all. “Attention, all you Palm Beachers. My name is Tony LaRussa, manager of the World […]
Continue reading →Barry Bonds is a force of nature, an atavistic beast of sensation. He is alpha and omega, Cain and Abel, the killer and the victim. He wields a carven piece of maple the way a tornado would nonchalantly dismiss an Oklahoman trailer park. Though he no longer possesses the speed he once did, he still […]
Continue reading →Hello. I’m Carlos Delgado, All-Star first baseman for the New York Mets. And I’d like to talk to you today about lying. By now, we shouldn’t be surprised when the Bush administration tries to backtrack and cover up their nefarious attempts to break the law with half-truths and smokescreens, well-worn trademarks of the trenchant and […]
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