In my duties as an ESPN national columnist, I’ve rattled some cages a sane man wouldn’t have rattled. That column where I pointed out that Jack Nicklaus is still alive? Hoo doggies, that was a starchy one. And that one where I called out the Veterans’ Committee for not voting Ron Santo into the Hall […]
Continue reading →Obviously I’m a damn fine looking guy, but folks making me out to be some smooth-talking Jamie Foxx type of cat makes me laugh. Way I see it, making love is a lot like football – it doesn’t hurt to know what you’re doing ahead of time. It takes hard work, preparation, and lots and […]
Continue reading →Hi, everyone, thanks for coming out. This is going to be my one and only press statement about Michael Vick, and it’s gonna be quick; I have a lot of work to do, as I was pretty much just planning on a long season of clipboard-holding until a few weeks ago. So please forgive my […]
Continue reading →What up, lords and ladies? I am honored to be elected a member of the Pro Football Hall of Fame. Honored — but not surprised. I always knew that my amazing journalistic career would be immortalized in this way. After all, I covered two different teams in two different cities for two different newspapers. In […]
Continue reading →Dearest Commisioner of Baseball Selig: Because you have shown yourself to be a man of great heart and business savvy, and have decided to let Jason Giambi go free because he will go to Compton and throw his money away on charity and is not an asshole like Barry Bonds, or a racist asshole like […]
Continue reading →Salutations and greetings, fellow baseball lovers! I know most of you know me because of “The Office,” the TV “dock”-umentary about the Scranton office of Dunder-Mifflin. But what you don’t know is that I am a big baseball fanatic, with somewhat of a statistics knack, if you will. I am here to spread my nutrients […]
Continue reading →I am so sick of this sh*t. Every year, the Red Sox spend all this f*cking money to make a run at the Yankees and shut those overpaid sacks of sh*t up once and for all, and every year they get everyone’s hopes up, and every year they end up looking up the Yankees’ brown […]
Continue reading →FROM: buddymillertime@brewers.com TO: barrybonds@effyou.argh DATE: August 8 2007 SUBJECT: U AR AN ASSSSSSSteriskkk lol ok BARRY the kid gloves thay are so off. you wanna know what I think BARRY? becaux i aint afraid of you BARRY LAMAR. ha BARRY LAMER AHAHHAHAHAH. i speak from the HART and MIND about what i want to sya […]
Continue reading →Dear Mr. Mushnick and other critics of mine: I heard from some people that you, Mr. Mushnick, and the rest of my critics, are saying things about me that are very critical, so I want to address those things that people are saying. What people need to understand is that broadcasting a baseball game is […]
Continue reading →You know what? I’m glad Barry Bonds is having lots of trouble break Hank Aaron’s all-time homerun record. Kinda hard to concentrate on hitting when everyone knows you’re a cheater, isn’t it, cheater? Must be super hard to get those steroided muscles swinging after a fat pitch when the entire world knows you’re a fake […]
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