Hello again. My name is David Smithson Michaels, and welcome back to DUCK SNORTS. The response to my initial post was amazing (as you can see for yourself), and the folks here are gladly giving me another chance. So, just in time for some of the first or second spring training games of the 2008 […]

My name is Barry Lamar Bonds. I am the all-time home run hitter in Major League Baseball, and hold the single season record for most HRs. At the age of 42, I hit 28 home runs in only 477 plate appearances, and reached base 48% of the time. I still want to play baseball. And […]

“Those around the Dodgers believe that Juan Pierre will be the everyday left fielder to begin the season, while Andre Ethier and Matt Kemp platoon in right.” – John Perrotto, BaseballProspectus.com, February 24, 2008 Those around the Red Sox believe that Bobby Kielty will be the everyday left fielder to begin the season, while Manny […]

Someone give Jose Reyes a raise, or a plaque, or some sort of medal. Finally, a notable athlete slogging around the cesspool that is Major League Baseball is taking a stand against the displays of moronic machismo that are all too common in today’s sports landscape. In an article published in today’s edition of New […]

“Not that they want to see any prospect fail, but old-line major league scouts everywhere stood up and cheered last week. Jeremy Brown, the Oakland Athletics announced, had retired.” – Murray Chass, The New York Times, February 19, 2008 Not that they would ever wish this upon their worst enemy, but sports bloggers everywhere gave […]

Hello there. My name is David Smithson Michaels, and welcome to DUCK SNORTS. During the season, I’ll go through all the news happening in baseball, pick out the best stories for you, and offer you my expert analysis and opinions on what these stories mean to you, the intelligent fans of baseball. Here are the […]

Today is a day where we in America celebrate and express our love for our loved ones, regardless of whether it’s through jewelry or chocolate or sacrificing two goats and a dog. And I would like to take this day to celebrate my love for my husband, World Series Champion and Cy Young Award Winner […]

Hello, baseball fans, from me, Ward York! Welcome back to another upcoming season of Major League Baseball, and another year of semi-regular commentary and opinion from your favorite non-profit place for baseball writing that I edit, Yard Work Dot Org (not to be confused with any other Yard Works that you might find while Googling […]

First of all, when I say “shut up,” that goes for everyone. George Mitchell: shut up about your go-nowhere 22-month crusade that turned up nothing more than a few signed checks and Josias Manzanillo. You did absolutely nothing that a high school graduate with internet access couldn’t do in about 1/22nd the time. ESPN: shut […]