Wow. Can you believe it’s been two whole months since I’ve set pen to paper and shared with you Some Thoughts on My Mind? That’s a long time with no Thoughts on My Mind, that’s for sure! I wish I could say that I’ve been busy driving across the country in my RV or building […]

After Copernicus suggested that the earth revolved around the sun — contrary to the then-contemporary vice versa option that passed as absolute fact — he was indubitably the subject of cruel astronomer jokes down in the observatory involving mothers, moons and certain Milky Ways. His theory was rejected out of hand, naturally, and he died […]

Welcome to Yard Work, I’m Ron Burgundy. Over my many, many years as the handsomest man in journalizing, I have covered innumerous crises, from the Great Fog of ’72 to the Plushy Convention at Carlsbad, and all of them have been splendiferous. Just splendiferous. But it’s not all fun and no-panty day in the newsy […]

Hey, I’m Mike Piazza, All-Star catcher for the New York Mets. And I’d like to talk to you about Supreme Court nominee John Roberts. If you’re a homeowner like me, you have to be disturbed by the Supreme Court’s recent decision about property rights, in which the left wing of the court essentially said that […]

Hairdressers don’t just make you beautiful. Hairdressers are best friends and keepers of secrets. If Hitler had been a hairdresser, there wouldn’t have a Holocaust. Instead, he would’ve floofed those little Jewish dreadlocks and told them to go be gorgeous among their tribe. As you’ve probably noticed on my Bravo show Blow Out, hair stylists […]

Picks Seattle Mariners: Like the reformed Drifters dealing one spinning schlep for Brian McKnight and Babyface, the eMo’s hoodie-winked inexplicable press doll Sabean into dealing two might-bes (Foppert, Torrealba) for one never-was-and-never-will-be (ironically, Winn) (que sera, sera). Bill Bavasi finally overcomes “Stand” Pat Gillick’s deadline shivers, proclaiming “next year is next year.” Wadda lug. A […]

It’s not easy being traded. I was only traded one time in my entire career, and that year (with the Phillies in ’83) was the worst of my 22 seasons. Imagine one day you come in to your office in San Francisco and your boss says, “We’re sending you to Philadelphia. Pack your bags.” And […]

From: earnsteinmoney@yankees.com To: employees@yankees.com Subject: TIME TO CLEAN HOUSE Ok – I’m back, and so is the refrigerator police!!! IT IS GROSS. It MUST be emptied out today by 4pm!!!!! Whatever is left in there, I will throw out WITH THE PITCHING STAFF! On Monday I will have it thoroughly cleaned, along with your DESKS!! […]

You won’t find many players more devoted to education or helping the less fortunate than me. Through my Cam4Kids program, I have helped many inner city kids experience the joy of baseball, and have also built numerous ballparks in their neighborhoods so that they can pursue their Major League dreams. During the offseason, I still […]

Just after Bruce Springsteen released Devils & Dust, his best album since The Rising and best of the year so far, in April, he and I happened to be at a charity event together in New Jersey. “How do you think Eli Manning will do next year?” I asked him, trying to spark a conversation. […]