I am finding the time now to responder to all of the several emails I get every day and weeks from all of my loyal readers and viewers and fanatics…and some unloyal ones too! Jajaja! Dear Ana Maria: Why are you only interested in Venezuelan baseball players? I know that you are from Venezuela, but […]

1. “The Widow,” The Mars Volta. This is a song from the brilliant album Francis the Mute. I don’t know what this album is about, and I don’t know what this song is about. All I know is that when I hear “The Widow” I want to smash a triple down the left-field line. 2. […]

Hey, Yard Worksketeers! It’s me, your old buddy, Mark-Paul Gosselaar, host of Yard Work Hollywood, the brand-new glitzy delivery system for the same old lovable hardball discussion and analysis! And totally unrelated to E$PN Hollywood, hosted by that choad…uh, I mean my old buddy Mario Lopez! (Just kidding, Lopes.) I’m here to announce that the […]

The Phillies are pretty good. I’ve been telling you idiots this all season! Ignore ol’ Spart-Dawg at your own peril. And (sorry Ana Maria) it hasn’t really been all about B-Abs. It hasn’t really been about anyone in particular, on the offensive end. This is a team that wins with garbageball, singles and dinks and […]

1. “Billy S,” Skye Sweetnam. What Ms. Sweetnam is brewing in her Canadian basement, no one really knows. Do we all want it, anyway? Oh, sweet transgressions, yes we do. This song tells you that Willie the Shake is a square who ain’t nowhere, and urges you to get dumm and shake yr bon-bon while […]

Hi, I’m columnist Ray Barone, and I’m baaaaaaaaaaaa-aaack! I am very grateful to the good people here at Yard Work for taking a chance on a guy that everyone thought was all washed up. I mean, the last few months haven’t been too great for me. My brother Robert, one of New York City’s finest, […]

As-Salaam-Alaikum! I would like to thank the organizers of Yard Work for allowing me to speak here today. I speak from the heart and from the soul, from hundreds of years of oppression to the cursed and blasted heath we see around us every day; I also speak from my den, where my new laptop […]

A famous proverb from Venezuela is like this: “There is nothing hidden between the sky and the earth.” This is especially true when it comes to pitching prospects. (Although another famous proverb from Venezuela is like this: “No hay cosa tal como una prospect de pitching.”) My dear brother-in-laws Wilson Alvarez was the first of […]

Ah, summer. They call these the dog days, because it’s really hot and dogs just sit around panting all the time. And I don’t know about you, but I live in New York City and the way the young ladies dress here when it’s hot…well, let’s just say that I know the way the dogs […]

“I would prefer not to.” If you’ve ever tried to slog out a degree in English Literature from any university in the United States of America, you had a deja vu experience a few days ago in the person of one Phillip Joseph Nevin. Ostensibly the San Diego Padres’ first baseman, Nevin was slated to […]