Quand j’ai decouvert que les Expos allaient quitter Montreal, j’etais un peu triste.

Oh, excusez-moi you bitchez, I have just been told dat everything on this site must be written en anglais. This is typical of you intolerant Americans who have no respect for ze culture and people of Quebec.

I was saying dat I was at first sad when I heard dat Les Expos were leaving Montreal for ze hellhole you call your capital city. I felt homeless, in much the same way dat all of Quebec feels homeless here in Canada. For ze past several months, there was no place for me anywhere and I was not wanted by nobody. I remember when I first joined Les Expos in 1979, many Quebecers used to say ze same things about Monsieur Trudeau. They said he was a divider, not a uniter, and dat there was no place for Quebec in the Prime Minister’s myopic, centralist vision of Canada. I was optimistic at ze time. I wanted to believe in ze strength of Canada, and hoped to unite ze country by spreading enjoyment throughout this land with ze help of Les Expos.

Mais bien sur, vous m’ai encule. My beloved Expos are gone thanks to Major League Baseball. Particular credit must go to you, Bud Selig and Jeffrey Loria. Nique ta mare, Monsieur Selig, and same to you Monsieur Loria. I’m sure I will see both of you fils des putes sometime in ze future, perhaps in hell, perhaps not.

These days, I am happy to have joined a team in a sport dat appreciates me. Above, you can see an older picture of me. It was taken after baseball took my beloved Expos away. Now here is a recent picture of me:

It was taken after I joined with Les Canadiens of the National Hockey League. I was drunk and happy. If you must know, I had already finished two bottles of Seagrams Dry Gin (Seagrams = from Montreal, dis is quality for those of you who are strangers to quality, which is probably most of you who read dis) and there was nothing left to drink chez Youppi other than that terrible Jack Daniels whiskey. So I drank dat merde as well, because I was very drunk already and did not know what I was doing.

As soon as dis post is finished, I am done with baseball forever. You might think it would be a time of great emotion for me, but you would be mistaken. Baseball has spit on me, so I will now spit on baseball. I bid you a bitter adieu.

Foutrements idiots!!