This website is a semi-satirical online publication. The contents of this written material are © Copyright 2005-2015 their respective authors and may not be reprinted or re-transmitted in whole or in part without the express written consent of the author in question. This website often uses invented names in some of its articles, except in cases where public figures or companies are being satirized. Any other use of real names in a satirical article is accidental and coincidental.  I’m not sure how legally binding any of this is (as I pilfered most of this from The Onion‘s disclaimer) but please pretend it is even if it’s not and act accordingly.