TO: tmccarver @ foxsports.com, dontgiveabuck @ foxsports.com, ruppert @ fox.com, jmorgan @ espn.com, jmiller @ espn.com, capnkurkjian @ espn.com, grandmasterkruk @ espn.com, kingpeter @ sportsillustrated.com, SCOTT_BORAS @ SCOTTBORASROCKS.COM
FROM: pgammons@espn.com
SUBJECT: A League Of Our Own
DATE: March 13, 2005 17:44

Hey everyone. To finalize this, I’m sending around the rules for the first annual mixed-media fantasy baseball league. Since the proposals are far from traditional, I’m listing them all below. Please read carefully, and just send around an “ok” if you agree to them. Once this is set we’ll have our draft next week. Thanks!

–DA COMISH

LEAGUE SCORING

The Mixed Media Fantasy Baseball League will follow a head-to-head scoring format. Statistics will be assigned point values, and those points will be tallied each week to determine a winner and loser for each contest. As per suggestion, some statistics will be weighed more heavily than others. Below are the traditional point values:

Scoring for Batting Categories
1B – Singles 1 point
2B – Doubles 2 points
3B – Triples 3 points
BB – Walks (Batters) -5 points
CS – Caught Stealing -1 point
E – Errors 0 points
HP – Hit by Pitch .5 points
HR – Home Runs 4 points
KO – Strikeouts (Batter) -.5 points
R – Runs 1 point
RBI – Runs Batted In 1 point
SB – Stolen Bases 2 points
B – Bunt 10 points
PO – Productive Out 8 points

Scoring for Pitching Categories
BS – Blown Saves -2 points
ER – Earned Runs -1 point
INN – Innings 1 point
K – Strikeouts (Pitcher) 1 point
L – Losses -5 points
S – Saves 7 points
SO – Shutouts 10 points
W – Wins 10 points
GP – Gutsy Performance 40 points

Weighted Scoring
Any statistic mentioned above (other than Caught Stealing) is quadrupled when said statistic was accumulated in a Clutch Situation. A Clutch Situation is defined by the MMFBL Constitution as “a momentum shifter,” “when it counts” and “where legends are born.”

When a player is Caught Stealing in a Clutch Situation, the point value is determined by the purpose of the initial steal: if it was to put a runner in scoring position, the player shall be granted 5 points. In any other Clutch Situation resulting in a Caught Runner, the player loses 5 points.

Bonus Points
Bonus Points are awarded when a team has a Proven Winner. A Proven Winner is defined as someone who has “played in a big game,” “plays the game the right way” or has one or more World Series* rings. (*Members of the Florida Marlins World Series teams are not credited with this bonus, with the exceptions of Edgar Renteria and Juan Pierre). For each Proven Winner, a team receives an additional 100 points each week.

Players with first names of three syllables or more will be awarded the statistics accrued on that date in history by other players with that same name. In addition, players with last names deemed “odd” or “humorous” will receive similar benefits.

Penalties
Players judged to be selfish, do not play through injuries or are negatively portrayed by the major newspaper columnists will cost their team -50 points each week. Any displays of “disgusting” behavior result in an automatic DQ. (Members of the New York Yankees, Boston Red Sox and St. Louis Cardinals are exempt from this rule due to the True Champion Clause.)

Should any player draft Carlos Delgado, the Traitor Clause will be invoked, and their team shall be forcibly removed from them and presented to a relative of Mr. Murdoch’s choosing.

Draft Format
The draft will run in an auction format. There will not be a salary cap — instead, the amount of money in-pocket will determine the amount you can spend, although a fee-free ATM will be conveniently located at the draft site. All bids are subject to a 10% agent tax.

Players from outside the AL or NL Easts are drafted at the owner’s risk.

The Jeter Rule
Many advocated that the team that owns Derek Jeter be automatically awarded the championship trophy, but one or two dissenters made a convincing argument that this would defeat the purpose of the league. To force some competitive balance, each team will be awarded Derek Jeter for 16 games, which will be distributed by a lottery system. Jeter will also be subject to a handful of additional point values:

CP – Clutch Play 10 Points
FP – Fist Pump 15 Points
C – Catch 20 points
BSFC – Being So Fucking Cute 50 points

And that does it. Once you’ve read this in its entirety, just give a sign off. And apologies to Peter for not including his field hockey and coffee suggestions; hopefully we’ll get to those next year.

Contiuning to keep on rocking in the Free World,
Peter