Hello. I am the sharpshooter known as Damon Jones.

I currently ply my trade for the Cleveland Cavaliers, but I have also plied for the Miami Heat, the Milwaukee Bucks, the Sacramento Kings, the Detroit Pistons, the Vancouver Grizzlies, the Dallas Mavericks, the Golden State Warriors, the Boston Celtics, the New Jersey Nets, the Orlando Magic (I’m counting that even if it doesn’t show up in the official statistics), the Idaho Stampede, the Jacksonville Barracudas, the Black Hills Posse, the Yakima Sun Kings, and the University of Houston Cougars. So I’m kind of like the traveling samurai of this shit.

Sure, I’ve been around a bit. It might bother some other people, but not Damon Jones. When you go undrafted out of college and end up setting the Miami Heat record for number of three-point shots made in a single season, you become philosophical. Or, rather, YOU don’t. But Damon Jones does.

I’ve kicked around a lot of different philosphies in my day, but the ones I feel closest to are the Asian ones: Zen Buddhism, Confucianism, shit like that. There are many things to be learned from these ancient texts. They help keep my mind focused when I am traded, or when I ask for the money I deserve from a team for which I just set the all-time three-point record and in return am rebuffed, ‘buked, scorned, and dropped like a hot potato, therefore allowing me to move on. I don’t fuss, I don’t fidget, I just pick up my rucksack and go. Walkin’ the earth like Cain, free and easy. Well, maybe easy. Damon Jones is DEFINITELY not free.

But yeah, oriental wisdom is something that’s real cool with me. So I was extremely gratified to be the first NBA player to endorse Li-Ning shoes, China’s #1 brand of hoops kicks. This is a great deal for everyone, because A) Chinese folks can now get a piece of Damon Jones magic, and B) I needed some new shoes. Last ones got messed up somehow in the heel. Li-Nings NEVER get messed up in the heel. They have 1.3 billion people in that country, and all of them wear Li-Nings. Ever seen a Chinese person limping, or complaining that their feet hurt? Me neither. So it was a no-brainer endorsing these awesome shoes. Now we have two global superstars on the Cavaliers: LeBron James and me, Damon Jones.

One of the perks I asked for and got with this contract was my very own philosophy tutor. Her name is Dae Xiehua, and she comes with me everywhere we go. Xiehua is wise and gentle, and her teachings are very helpful. Plus, she’s kinda hot, if you look at her in the right light, like the bun-making chick in “Shaolin Soccer” except without all the acne and burn marks and stuff…but that is no consideration for a wise man.

Xiehua is conversant with many different creeds, but she is mainly a Confucian. That means she’s down with Confucius and his teachings. Lately, I’ve been in a bit of a slump. I know I’m the world’s greatest three-point shooter and all; that’s why they call me Damon “The Specialist” Jones. (That’s also how I got to be a member of the F.F.B.T. with LeBron and Larry Hughes. RepreZENT.) But hearing some fair-weather fans boo me — and, by extension, my team and all young black men with a dream — can kind of get a man down. Yes, even the Specialist.

But Xiehua wasn’t having any of that. She saw that I was feeling not so fresh, and had me sit down and talk about it. I have to admit that it felt good getting it off my chest. When I was done, she looked up at me through her hair and said this:

“The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.”

And I realized what she was talking about. The superior man: that’s me! The danger: that’s my slump! The disorder: that’s my slump too! So, like, this is just a temporary thing that’s gonna right itself, and I just have to remember to stay chilly when I’m rippin’ it, and to not get too bummed out when I’m whiffing. Man, I love philosophy.

So I’m putting it up 12 times next game no matter what. And every time I make one, I’ll point up at my girl Xiehua in the stands. Because behind every superior man, there is a philosophical woman. What what!

Damon Jones is a charter member of the F.F.B.T. His rucksack is packed and ready.