Greetings, fellow liberty seekers.
As you know, this year the baseball team of our nation’s capital finally gets its own stadium. The Washington Nationals will no longer be subservient to the whims of big government and the corporate greed of Major League Baseball. In 2008, as a prime signifier of the coming rise of the Ron Paul R3v0lution, they will truly become a team of, by, and for the people, governed not by faceless billionaires but by the direct desire of the plebiscite. The people of Washington are lucky indeed.
And so I respectfully submit that Dr. Ron Paul throw out the first pitch at Nationals Park on May 10.
May 10, 1773, was a glorious day indeed in American history. That day, the British Parliament passed the Tea Act, the climactic affront that sparked a revolution. And today, it is Dr. Paul who truly stands alone as a leader, his every word a warning to his fellow American citizens of the troubles that lie ahead. It is only Dr. Paul, not the so-called candidates who are little more than anonymous mouthpieces for the corporate syndicates who conspire to bankrupt America of its moral destiny, not the so-called president who is little more than a jug-eared spokesbot for Big Oil, it is only Dr. Paul who is alone qualified to lead the Washington Nationals into a brave new day. And it is only these Nationals, these castoffs, stragglers, and ne’er-do-wells, who are ALONE fit to be the standard-bearers as the all-embracing light of the R3v0lution spreads across the landscape of American sports.
And so I propose a giant rally to take place on the grounds of the Nationals’ new stadium this May 10, as Dr. Paul’s faithful supporters stand hand in hand with Nationals fans and say that nay! We will no longer bow down to the plutocratic oligarchs who continually oppress the common man! Musicians such as Willie Nelson and Prodigy from Mobb Deep exhorting Dr. Paul’s passionate followers to take back the country they love so dearly. Officially licensed Ron Paul Racing stock cars driving victory laps around the warning track. The Ron Paul Paragliders, those elite few who slipped the surly bonds of insider politics as we know it, descending down from the clouds bearing a giant “Who is Ron Paul?” banner. The Ron Paul Performing Kodiak Bears, furiously pedaling those tiny bicycles, every revolution of their musclebound legs a clarion call to r3v0lution of a different kind. And high above in the azure sky, the return of the Ron Paul Blimp, broadcasting its message of hope, prosperity, and liberty to the huddled masses, its unmistakable message beaming far and wide throughout the land. Whether the mainstream media likes it or not.
If it’s rained out, we have until 4:00 pm the next day before we have to return the blimp.
The Nationals may not seem an obvious target for our freedom-loving action. Many critics expressed surprise and dismay that Dmitri Young was offered a $10 million contract extension this season. While it is true that fading empires are typified by such profligacy, our nation’s total refusal to adhere to the gold standard that served it so well for so many hundreds of years means that $10 million is a mere drop in the bucket in the face of stagflation and currency devaluation. Backed by nothing but the good graces of foreign banking conglomerates and secret multinational anti-American conspiracies that seek only to bring this great nation TO ITS KNEES, Dmitri Young’s contract isn’t worth the paper it’s printed on! By 2012, did you know that the price of gold is GUARANTEED to rise to such dizzying heights that a so-called millionaire like Dmitri Young will only be fit to burn his money for heat in the cold Maryland winter? Assuming his dollars have any value at all when the coming North American Union sees fit to replace them with the new e-amero, that is.
The Washington Nationals still have a chance to be a shining beacon of hope and true change to a nation that sorely desires true freedom. And lest you take me for a firebrand, or worse yet, an anonymous crank, I ask you this, good people of Yard Work: Was Nick Johnson’s leg broken by natural forces, or due to a series of tiny controlled explosions engineered by the Mossad?
“R3v0lution2008” is the moderator of the Baseball, Alt-Country, & Improvised Weaponry Discussion forum on ronpaulforums.com.